For the longest time, I have heard people telling me they do not say ‘I love you’ because they want it to be special when they do say it. I have heard that it verges on immaturity to say the three words to everything and everyone. How dare I banalize the deepness and profound meaning behind love? How dare I make such a glorious feeling a routine?
I think, for the longest time, I justified my doings by claiming I did love everything and everyone- which of course prompted outraged responses completely disregarding my feelings and claiming it to be impossible to hold so many things dearly. As I have grown a bit more mature, now I can acknowledge those comments were, to some extent, true. I did not love my family the same way I claimed to love that ice cream or the boy I met waiting in the hotel reception line. But I do have a form of deep appreciation for all- in different levels and ways- and unfortunately my limited lexicon can only translate that into love. And so I claim to love, I claim to love for lack of a better word- I claim to love because love isn’t something you can understand and put in a box depending on how deep or shallow it is. Love has levels and reaches and that’s what makes it a great word.
Now- My second point is not for the romantics, so you might as well leave now. I think this is my main “mature” reason to say ‘I love you’ so often: I feel really good when someone says it to me. Even if out of reflex or in between laughs or when they didn’t register it properly. I get genuinely happy. I feel a little more comfortable around the person, because they- even if it is something that is only natural to them- to some degree, love me. And so, it feels only natural to me to want to transmit that safety and comfort. It still astounds me how someone's behaviour visibly changes with a little bit of love- Or a little bit of love-confessing.
And I know the normalization of love may be scary. What if it loses its meaning? Well, to that, I laugh. Real, lasting love will always have meaning- No matter the word you use and no matter how many times you use it. The poets would say ‘chinchilla’ could be the most romantic word if it were to represent what you feel for someone. So- Love is what you make of it, and we should never be scared of loving too much or banalizing love. Love is not a finite source.
on the banalization of love
on the banalization of love
